Lost Boys 2: The Tribe review

Horror fans are bombarded with a barrage of remakes, adaptations and sequels. There was a time when it was more sequels than remakes but recent years have found the remake train going out of control. As much as I don’t really like any of the remakes, I definitely despise the sequels. Films like HELLRAISER, PUMPKINHEAD, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD and now THE LOST BOYS have been sequelized with films that do nothing to expand on the universe created by the originals. Most are barely even recognizable as part of the series other than brief appearances by some element from the original.

When I was much younger, THE LOST BOYS was one of those films that watched again and again. I was the same age as the character Sam (portrayed by Corey Haim) and I wished that a vampire would move in next door so I could have a similar adventure (and finally stake something in the heart and let it bleed). Cut to twenty-two years later and the momentary excitement I felt when I heard they were finally making a sequel. I quickly realized I lived on planet earth and that there was a ninety-nine point nine percent chance that the sequel would be worse than actually fulfilling my real life dream of having Corey Haim move in next door to me, and vampire or not, staking him in the heart and letting him bleed, because then I would have nothing to live for. (Editor’s note: Bavota San is just trying to pretend to be a Corey hater. I have been to his house and seen his Teen Beat collection.)

Horror fans might, but probably won’t, recognize director P. J. Pesce as the man responsible for that piece o’ shit FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 3: THE HANGMAN’S DAUGHTER. Staying true to form in his ability to make diamonds into turds, Pesce’s THE LOST BOYS 2: THE TRIBE takes everything that was fun and original from the first film and completely ignores it, reducing his film to nothing more than a stupid teen horror movie full of idiots in tight clothes. The only saving grace, if there even is one, is Corey Feldman’s return as Edgar Frog and that is not saying much, especially since his character is now a surf board shaper(?!?). He seems to be the only one hamming it up and having fun. Everyone else takes themselves way too seriously to be involved in something so ridiculous. The casting of another Sutherland might have seemed like the greatest idea since reducing Corey Haim’s role to an after credit walk on, but Keifer’s half-bro Angus performs his role of head vamp/surfer dude Shane Powers like he has an extra chromosome. I don’t know if the boy is masking some sort of accent or if that is just the way he speaks. Either way, I say Sutherland or not, recast the fucker. And please, please, please… refrain from all the pop culture movie references. They are like acid being poured into my ear canals. I can accept it from film students who have no idea how to be cinematically hip without referencing other movies that are cinematically hip, but supposed professionals should know better.

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