Things review

I really do not know where to start with this movie. I was told before I watched it that it was seen as the worst movie ever made. Well, there have been plenty of movies that I have liked even though the majority of people did not, and vice versa, so I had to give THINGS a chance. Actually, I gave it a few chances. The first time I sat down to watch it, I turned it off after only twenty minutes; the second time, I managed to make it through forty five minutes. The third time, I was determined and almost hit an hour, but then the DVD stopped working. Never in my life have I ever been so relieved to come across a technical problem in the middle of a movie. Even though I missed the last twenty to thirty minutes of THINGS, I can rest easy. Not even an amazing ending like the one in the first SAW could save this movie.

When it comes to THINGS, I don’t even understand how this could even be considered a movie. It looked like it was filmed with some guy’s video camera from the eighties; my great grandparents have home videos that have better quality. Also, I know that horror movies are not known to have amazing actors; in fact, sometimes the actors are almost comical because they are so bad. Even so, these guys took it to a whole new level. I wonder if they even had a script; at some points it just looked like improvisation that you would see in an awkward high school drama class. The guys were stuttering over their words and it looked like they could not even remember their lines at times.

As terrible as it looked, what about the actual plot? Some movies can be awful because of things like how it was shot and the actors in it, but can seriously have a good story. When I sat down to watch THINGS, I made sure to pay attention to the story for the possibility that this was the case. It most certainly was not. The story involved three guys, a Dr. Lucas, a pregnant Susan, and some huge insects. There were a few other things thrown in there, but it really is not worth going into. It was beyond bad, and when you mix a terrible story with awful acting and just horrible filming in general, the result is obviously a contender for the worst movie ever made.

Honestly, I can’t even see why anybody would watch THINGS for fun. I guess if you are curious enough to want to witness what might just be the worst movie in history then I could see why you would check it out. But it would only take a few minutes of watching it to understand why it holds that title. No need to torture yourself and sit through the whole thing, just trust me on this one, it holds that tile for a reason.

Screenshots: